sanctified by truth

Another Unicorn Princess

2011-06-28T09:42:00.001-07:00

It's official..

IT'S A GIRL!!

Today (technically) marks 25 weeks and 3 days, leaving 102 until Adelaide Renee is due to enter this world. I've been feeling great, though the beginning was worse than w/ the other kids, for me that just means I felt slightly more nauseated but still have managed to maintain my ridiculously lucky status as one of the very few women who never gets sick while pregnant, not even once.

We are so excited for this new little lady coming into our family. It was a long, stressful road but after three years we finally were blessed with another baby. Thats not to say we weren't blessed before or during that time. But we had decided that we wanted to leave it to God's perfect timing to decide if and when we would be able to have another baby and after a year..two years..I was really beginning to think that His answer was 'Be content with what I've given you' but..that just didn't feel right in my heart. I didn't feel like our family was finished yet. So we waited. and waited. and..

A little more than a year before we found out we were expecting, I had miscarried (on my birthday..Happy Birthday to me..) and that really made me start to doubt God's plans for our family. I really struggled through the next year. Between when we 'stopped preventing' and conceiving this baby, I think there were something like 13 babies born to family and friends. It became a huge struggle for me to even be excited for people when I found out they were expecting. I just wanted to cry. It's not fair. Why them, why not me?

And then I started feeling tired. Really, really tired. It wasn't too abnormal for me, I have sleep problems. But this was ridiculous. So, I took a test. (Disclaimer - I'd taken probably 30 tests over the prior years and had only the 2 positives from what ended up a miscarriage) I fully expected it to be negative even though I felt pregnant. And it was negative. Once again. Move on with life.

Two weeks later I was still feeling so tired and I went to get a coffee one morning, which normally helped a little. But it just didn't taste good. Not that it was bad, I just..didn't want it. Thats not normal for me. So the thought popped in my head that maybe...maybe...

So I tested again. A pink + appeared. "Wait WHAT?!?" (My kids wondered why I was talking to myself..) That CAN'T be right, theres no way.. so I tested again, same result. So I waited till the next day and again, a pink + showed up. Over the next week until I could get into the doctor, I tested two more times. My doctor laughed at me that I tested 5 times and still came to see him. But he knows our situation so he understood my doubt completely.

We had the first ultrasound and that made me feel a little more confident that this was actually happening. But it didn't feel real. I wasn't connecting like I had with our other kids. Even as I started showing, I still wasn't sure. Two of our friends lost their precious babies w/ in 6 months and that started getting in my head. I felt so guilty that I was still carrying my baby, that as far as anyone could tell, everything was healthy and normal. I felt aweful for the past few years of being so jealous and angry w/ everyone else being pregnant when I had miscarried and then, here I was on the other side and all I could think was, but why me and NOT them?? So I just kept expecting to go in and find out something went wrong and I would soon lose the baby or there would be something wrong that we couldn't fix.

We decided to get the 20 week ultrasound (my doctor had told me we could skip it since we have healthy family histories and I've had no history of any sort of complications in pregnancy or in our kids. Plus, we had decided to not find out the sex so there was no reason to have the u/s) But I didn't feel ok. I didn't feel like there was necessarily anything 'wrong' but I think it was more that I just didn't feel confident that everything was ok. My due date sets me at October 8 but other calculations and my measurements set me as early as September 7. Not knowing the sex meant not knowing what we need to keep or what we can get rid of, what we'll need to get still and all of these uncertainties were starting to build up and make me lose my mind. I felt so not in control and not able to do anything. My back has been having problems that keep getting worse also. My doctor has pretty much told me I can't do anything, including housework even if I'm really careful. So I really felt like all I can do is sit here and not know whats going on. All of this lead us to the decision to get the ultrasound and to find out the sex so that I can at least have the illusion of control, being able to get rid of things we wont need and make sure we have everything we will need, be able to have a name to hopefully feel more connected and just have the peace of mind knowing for sure if everything is ok and if not, know what to expect.

I've never been so nervous for an ultrasound. Even with Bella when we were getting them at least once a month because she had hydronephrosis and I never felt worried or anxious. But everything looks perfect and we found out we're having another girl. It took a few days after the u/s to really feel better about everything but now I'm really glad that we ended up finding out.

God is good. In everything, He is good. His timing was perfect and is perfect and we have every reason to be excited and feel so very blessed by this new creation in our family! Faith and trust in God is a process and sometimes doubt comes in, sometimes you can start to wonder if He really has our best at heart but looking back at the past three years, I have no regrets and I have absolutely nothing that I would change, as difficult as it has been and as much as I wanted a baby three years ago, I'm so thankful that He knew better and blessed us in His timing.

Mark your calendars for October 8th..give or take a few days!! Miss Adelaide Renee will be making her entrance into our family, already loved more than she could ever imagine!

I'm covered in dirt..and I love it!

2010-06-17T15:29:00.000-07:00

There is something about working with your hands that is just so soothing! Today I went to visit a friend and we decided to do some gardening. She has a new home with a HUGE back yard and in that yard are 6 raised garden beds (4 3x3' and 2 3x 10 boxes..give or take) and she and her hubby tilled a 4x8' bed on the side for corn.

We dug, tilled and hand planted corn and pumpkins today and it was so relaxing! The weather was perfect, overcast but warm, no wind.

She's 'giving' us a box to plant in so we can grow some veggies and then we'll get together to garden and harvest all of our produce as it ripens.

There is definitely something to be said about working with your hands, actually doing the work to prepare the ground, planting the seeds to grow your own food. Not much of it has started really popping up yet, but as it does, the anticipation of 'reaping what you sow' becomes almost..euphoric I think. God used reaping and sowing, good soil and bad soil, harvest, et cetera as examples to us of how to live, how to care, the proper state of our hearts, how to reach others. I love the simple things God uses to help us understand His word, His heart for us. We cannot comprehend the things of God, but he gives us practical, relevant parables that we can relate to in order to help us grasp the simple truths of His character.

God has blessed my friend and her family so much, with a beautiful home to house their beautiful little family and the amazing yard for the kids to play in and the great beds to grow their food in, and our friends in turn are blessing us with room to grow our own food in and the friendships that grow from working together! I'm so excited about watching all of our work pay off and can't wait until we can use some of the fruits of our labor to have a big, yummy family meal with them!

We decided it might be worth leaving one of the raised beds empty just so we can have dirt to play in, being as soothing as it is, with 5 kids, 5 years and under between the two of us, we just might have to have a mud pie mommy date!

Beautifying

2010-06-15T16:32:00.000-07:00

I've been longing for these..then it happened..I wandered through the clearance aisle..50% off the clearance price! So I went back the next day to get them..and the extra sale was over. I decided the 'original' sale price of 50% off was good enough for me, though that extra 50% off would've been lovely!

This is what my couch & pillows look like. Aren't they so amazingly '80s fabulous?! So.....

...I finally took the plunge and repurposed my sweater ($2 on clearance, just HAD to have it even though it didn't *quite* fit..) but look how cute it is!! One pillow down, 2 pillows & a couch to go..

Our first (and only, so far) strawberry! We planted this last year and thought it had died..then the sun came out! It's amazing what can happen with a little rain and sunshine! It was pretty sour (we ate it today!) but lovely!

Coming Soon: the ceiling fan project!!

Lord, Save Us From Your Followers

2010-06-08T21:34:00.000-07:00

http://www.masquers.com/films.htm

Project Three

2010-06-03T19:39:00.000-07:00

Well, I didn't even come close to 31 projects in 31 days..

HOWEVER..

I did accomplish a lot of things that I'd been putting off and will be doing a bit more for the yard sale this Saturday! I feel good about everything.

One thing I LOVE to do is make cards. May is a crazy month of anniversaries and birthdays for us so needless to say, I've been having lots of fun! This one was especially fun because I got to be slightly more creative than usual.

It was my in-law's 28th anniversary last week. I looked online and found that the modern gift for the 28th is orchids and the color lavender is associated with it as well.

This is what I came up with.

Simple, black & gray paper (the back was white w/ the same black border)

I cut out the petals from white cardstock, glued them down and curled the edges around..wait for it..my meat thermometer (don't worry, it was clean!! and just the right size!) and then for the center petals I used a yellow and a purple stamp pad to lightly dab some color and then attached and curled them in the same way.

Details..

Overall, this month wasn't as productive as I had hoped but it was productive.

I hope to keep up the project goal, maybe 2 projects per week would be a more attainable goal..

Project Two

2010-05-20T15:36:00.001-07:00

Well, this wasn't on my list, mostly because I'd forgotten about it until the hubby cleaned up the closet!

We have ugly fake wood paneling around one part of a wall and I've somewhat hidden it w/ a bookshelf, DVD racks and a shelf. Some projects I did last year included pictures I made using scrapbook paper and frames that I'd gotten on the cheap. It fancied up the Ugly Wall but it still needed more and thus, Project Two.

My mom had gotten these cute little shelves and then ended up not needing them so I said I would gladly take them off her hands! I'd searched for the perfect place and decided the Ugly Wall deserved them. I LOVE how it turned out!

(Note the frames above..)

Our baby spider plant is rooting, Toby picked me the daisy and Bella gave me the bleeding hearts..

My cousin gave us these adorable little jars for our anniversary last year. I LOVE them!!

Stay tuned for more projects!

Project One

2010-05-06T22:33:00.000-07:00

One down, thirty to go..

I have several picture frames that I want to paint black and put my photographs in, making a sort of collage tied together by the matching frames.

I painted the first one today and I love it even more than I thought I would!!

Check it out! (Sorry, the lighting wasn't great therefore the pictures aren't great but you get the idea.. its black, I know, it looks green..)

So, I took the glass out before painting the frame and I set it on my chair, standing against the back rest.. then I forgot about it, leaned back and *crash!!* it shattered.. oops..

31/31 Challenge

2010-05-06T14:41:00.000-07:00

One of my friends gave herself a challenge: 31 projects in 31 days.

I'm going to join her!!

There are soo many projects I've been putting off because they're just not fun. Filing papers, sorting kids' toys..

So here is my list (part of it anyway..)

*File/shred paperwork, etc
*Organize closets (we have 5 of them so this may get broken down into separate tasks!)
*Sort the kids' clothes, donate/yard sale/pack what doesn't fit them
*Sort our clothes, donate/yard sale what we don't wear
*Organize/de-clutter the kitchen (we've accumulated so many gadgets and unnecessary stuff there!)
*Re-decorate for spring/summer (shelves, table, piano)
*Journal. I used to be really good at writing and I want to learn it again
*Read. I have a list of probably 50 books (more I'm sure) and I want to get in the habit of reading every day

I know there are plenty of other projects I'll come up with but I'd say that is a pretty good list to start with!!

Updates to come...

To be or..

2010-04-10T13:41:00.000-07:00

I'm deciding that there is no other option to that statement.

Lately I've been in a funk that I just can't seem to kick. Depression maybe, I'm not sure. There are a lot of things going on with my health that I have no answers to (nothing serious, to my knowledge) and our lives are hanging in the balance between stability and possibly complete chaos - we're waiting to hear from WWU if Daniel was accepted or not. Depending on the outcome of that, we'll either be moving across the state, away from 90% of our friends and family, our church, etc, or staying here and Daniel will need to find a better job. I've lived here in this town for over 23 years, 17 or which were spent in the same house. We can safely say I'm not used to change. Daniel on the other hand has lived all over the world, though he's been in this area for over 15 years.

If we move, we'll be on a great adventure and I'm completely at peace with that. I have absolutely no doubt that God will continue to provide for us and take care of our needs just as He always has. That said, moving across the state will be quite a challenge on a tight income, with 2 little kids.

On the chance he doesn't get accepted, then we will be staying in town for at least awhile longer. We've discussed our options and he will either apply to CWU or he will try to get a better job around here, and if he does, we'll be able to start looking at buying a house (which, just makes my heart leap with excitement!)

God has been so faithful to us, we've been so incredibly blessed beyond anything we could ever imagine. I've been struggling lately in devotions and it has definitely taken a toll on my heart. The hope I have hasn't changed and I am still so deeply in love with my Savior, that is for sure. But I'm just having a much harder time dealing with somethings than I should. I am not really worried or doubtful about any of the big things in our life, but I can't be free of the frustration and depression that goes along with some of it.

Next week marks 28 months since we decided that we would completely give to God the decision for more children in our family. We both agreed that we really would like more and we didn't feel quite ok with me being on birth control (and there were lots of health issues with it so that just confirmed our decision) It was so exciting for the first few months, waiting and hoping to be pregnant. But slowly, the excitement faded and the depression set in. All my life I've known I wanted to be a mom. We have two incredible, beautiful, smart, amazing children and we want so much to add to our family. Not being able to conceive has created a cold place in my heart. I was angry for awhile. Doubtful. I think I'm to a place where I can be at peace if God only has our two children in His plans for us. I'm ok with that. Mostly. Deep down I still harbor some resentment, and wrongfully so. We don't know for sure if I can or cannot have more children. Physically, the doctors say that everything is healthy and I am just fine. But after 28 months and an early miscarriage, I'm not convinced. Its really difficult to watch all of my friends and family having kids. I am so excited for all of them and I finally come to the point where I could accept that maybe I couldn't have more children of my own, but that I could use my time to help those around me with all their lovely little ones. I still get a bit upset when I hear of another woman being pregnant, but God is healing me and teaching me in all of this and I am glad that I can be stretched and grown spiritually.

Through all of this, Daniel and I are growing in our relationship and working through the difficulties. I am so blessed to have such an incredible husband, who is so caring and loving to me and our kids. We're so blessed.

I'm not really sure about anything right now, whether its our living situation, schooling, jobs or kids. Once we hear if he's accepted or not, I will be applying to either BBCC or Whatcom CC. I really feel like school will help me feel more accomplished and adequate. I know that my adequacy comes only from the Lord, but I don't feel like I am living to His full potential for me without keeping myself healthy mentally, physically and spiritually. I haven't had any schooling since high school and I just really feel like I could be of much more use if my brain was in better working order.

Its all up in the air and we've released it to God. Its hard not to take it back and try to control it, but every time I try, I fail and am reminded that I cannot do it on my own. The past two years has been a bit crazy but good and I'm so excited for whatever is up next in God's plan for our lives.

I'm not quite sure the point of this blog, I think I just needed to get some of this out of my heart. My goal, my desire is 'to be' in whatever that means, To Be what God has created me to be and nothing else. I desire to be used by Him and I am working on allowing Him to refresh and renew my heart, mind, soul and strength.

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day." 2 Corinthians 4:16

Love is in the Air

2010-02-03T22:09:00.000-08:00

Recently a couple of my lovely friends posted about non-cheesy February decor and I decided to steal their ideas! Here's what I've come up with (spending no money!)

I made this with random scrapbook paper scraps and its hanging over our hallway entrance.

This is on our awesome built-in shelf/cubby/wall thing. I thought a verse about love would be appropriate for the month of love.

On the same shelf/cubby thing I put these poetry books, one of which contains a love story that Daniel likes.

Not all of my piano books fit in the bench so I thought it'd be fun to set the romantic type books out. Also, on the music stand part I have the sheet music to "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None the Richer.

One Word.

2010-01-01T00:45:00.000-08:00

A [good, wonderful, God-fearing, lovely...] friend of mine posted this on her blog and I thought it was well worth sharing!

One Word
Pick a word for the year...but be careful!
-Dan Britton

Seven years ago, I started the simple discipline of picking a one-word theme for the upcoming year. That is right—one word. Not a phrase, not a statement, just a single word. And to this point, it has been nothing short of life-changing.

If you are like me, you have done your fair share of goal-setting at the start of each New Year. As time goes by, you begin to feel guilty as you fall short in your ambitious plans. At one point, I was so frustrated with the whole process that I even tried boycotting the whole idea and avoided setting any goals at all. That didn't work either. It just made me feel guilty about being the slacker who didn't set any goals. In both cases, I always wound up feeling defeated.

Obviously, everyone wants to find the secret to succeeding in their resolutions. There are a tremendous number of new books and articles written each year about "better" and "easier" ways. I have even heard some great sermons regarding how to set goals for a prosperous New Year.

Despite all of the hype, I still love the fact that the New Year can be a great way to wipe the slate clean and start all over again. The phrase, "a new lease on life" certainly can apply. We are free to lose that 10 pounds, commit to daily devotions, pray more faithfully, spend more time with family, pay off the credit cards or even share Christ with our neighbors. The list can go on and on. But the reality is that those long lists of New Year's resolutions rarely became a reality.

For me, this one-word exercise, in its simplicity, has become a focal point throughout the year. It helps bring clarity into a very complex world. The discipline of picking a one-word theme has stretched me in all areas—spiritually, physically and emotionally. God has transformed me in many ways through this exercise, and I promise that through it God can bring truth and revelation into your life, as well.

In the movie City Slickers, there is a scene that reveals the value and magnitude of “one thing.” Billy Crystal plays Mitch, a vacationing businessman who, along with two friends, takes on the adventure of a cattle drive. In the middle of the drive, a rough-necked cowhand named Curly tells Mitch that the secret to life is just one thing. Curly emphasis the point by holding one finger up and says, “You need to stick to that one thing.” Mitch asks, “What is that one thing?” Curly responds back, “That is what you gotta figure out!”

Curly is not a Bible scholar, but he does recognize the power of the one thing. Even though the Bible does not have the phrase “one-word theme,” it is incredible how many verses include the phrase “one thing.” In Philippians 3:13-14, Paul writes, “Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Paul uses the phrase “one thing” to bring focus and clarity to his calling. Altogether, the phrase “one thing” appears five times in the Bible—once in Philippians and four times in the Gospels. In Luke 10:42 Jesus says to Martha, “only one thing is needed.” Both Luke 18:22 and Mark 10:21 include His words to the rich man and expresses a lack of “one thing.” John 9:25 also includes the phrase as the blind man tells the Pharisees, “One thing I do know. I was blind but now I see!” In the same way that Scripture uses these words, God desires for us to strip it all away and ask Him, “What is Your will for my one-word theme this year?”

I wish I could take credit for developing this simple discipline. However, I have to give credit where credit is due. Five years ago, my good friend Steve Fitzhugh and I were traveling to Ocean City, Maryland, to speak at a youth retreat. On this cold, December car drive, Steve asked me what my theme for the upcoming year would be. After taking several minutes to think about all that I wanted to accomplish, I responded with a long description of my hopes and ambitions for the New Year. He listened patiently as I shared an inspiring mini-sermon of all the changes that would take place in my personal, family and ministry life.

After my speech, Steve responded, “That’s great Dan, but take all that and boil it down into a one-word theme for the year.” After contemplating even longer than the first time, I responded with the theme “Live it Out.” This was better than the first time, but Steve challenged me again, saying, “Dan, that is still not one word.” As he pushed me, I grew aggravated with my own inability to sum it up into a single word. It was too hard to take all of my lofty goals, my massive game plan for the year and those dramatic life-changes and wrap them up so tightly. Finally I decided to flip the table by asking Steve what his one-word theme would be for the coming year. Without hesitation, he responded, “Harvest.” He explained how he wanted to see God work in such a dynamic way in and through him that there would be a great harvest produced from his personal life, his marriage, his family and his speaking ministry. As a former NFL player, Steve uses that platform to speak to and teach more than 100,000 youth every year. But he desired to see God do even greater things with his life! He wanted to see a “Harvest.” Wow! I was amazed that one word had so much power.

So, Steve asked me again what my word would be. I said that I needed to really pray through it and that I would get back to him. Several weeks later, after much prayer and thought, I called Steve and told him my word for the year would be “Intimacy.” I desired to have greater intimacy with God. And that was the start of an incredible year in which the Lord taught me and showed me how I needed to have deeper level of intimacy in every area of my life. I can’t even begin to explain the full extent of how the Lord weaved intimacy into my life that year. The thread of intimacy was revealed to me in my devotional life, through sermons, in Scripture, during prayer times and in conversations. Every time I turned around, intimacy was there! God used that one word to impact me for an entire 365 days. Every day, He was weaving it into my life. It was a powerful year of dynamic growth.

When the year began, I only had a desire to increase my intimacy with the Lord. But He had different plans. Slowly He began to show me that He wanted me to have greater intimacy with my wife, my family and me friends. In every role I had (father, husband, friend, leader, athlete), God wanted to transform me and take me to a deeper level. But the most significant way intimacy was revealed to me was through people and life situations. That was very difficult, as intimacy is typically something I’d rather learn from God, not God’s people! When He started using friends and enemies to teach me about intimacy, I was reluctant to embrace it. But that apprehension didn’t matter. God still got my attention and showed me all the gaps and areas in which I needed to change, both through lessons from others and through lessons revealed specifically through His Word and His Spirit.

Since that year, I have learned more about myself and, more importantly, more about Jesus as a result of picking a one-word theme for the year. Developing this theme has now become a staple in my life, a non-negotiable. After experimenting with it the first year and not sharing the concept with anyone (I wanted to make sure that I practiced it and experienced it before I shared it with others), I now have passed it on to thousands of people. I am continually amazed how someone will call, e-mail or write me at the end of a year to let me know how this simple process had transformed his or her life in the past 12 months. Each year, I challenge my Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) staff to go through the exercise. In fact, just today, a former staff member e-mailed me to let me know about his new word: “disciplines.” He said he was excited and was already reading a great Christian classic on spiritual disciplines to get him prepared for the New Year.

Let me stop here for a moment. There is a reason why I say, “Pick one word for the year…but be careful.” The “careful” part is serious. You know the phrase, “Be careful what you pray for”? Like when you pray for patience and all you get is trails, problems and situations in which you need to practice patience? Well, the same goes for this. I guarantee you that as soon as you pick the word, the battle will begin. Do not approach this exercise half-heartedly. You will get hammered, I promise. Satan will come after you full-force. I’m not trying to sensationalize it, but you have to be aware of this before you dive in. This exercise is not for people who want to pick a nice, comfortable word that will have no significant impact on their lives. It truly is a discipline for those who want to press in and see God do great things in and through them. It is for those who want to live life to its fullest. No retreat. No regrets. It will also be a process of teaching, correcting and molding, as God will certainly bring you to a point of brokenness in relation to your word. But when you are soft in the Creator’s hands, He can form you into His vessel!

In beginning the process, half of the fun is choosing the word for the year. But I have learned that it is not necessarily me who chooses the word, but rather God who reveals it to me. God can, indeed, drop an anointed, specific word into your soul. I’ll admit that in my first year when I chose to pursue intimacy, it was 99% me picking the word and 1% God speaking. Even so, God still used it! But as I become more experienced as the process, I have learned to really listen and watch for God’s leading in selecting the word. Now, I truly can say that it is not about me, but about God. I don’t pick, He shows me. And once He shows me the word, I just have to be obedient and respond with, “Yes, Lord.”

Many people try to approach the one-word theme as just another goal, but this is not a question of whether or not you will “win” at your one-word theme for the year. Your goal should be to live out the adventure God has for you and to learn from the lessons along the way. It is simply a matter of yoking with the Savior. You can’t look at it as a task item on your to do list. You must see it, rather, as a journey—a great journey of victories and defeats, all of which are brought to and laid at the feet of the Christ.

Another word of caution. Once you have used a word, you can’t repeat it the following year. I had a friend say to me that since he felt like he had failed during the year in learning everything there was to learn from his word, he was going to recycle the same word for the New Year. This shouldn’t be an option. In any year, there are 365 days for the Lord to work. Believe me, if it didn’t happen during that time, there is a good chance that either you missed how He was working or He is showing you that there needs to be greater maturity in your life before taking that word any deeper. I know that those are hard words, but they may be true!

It has been my experience that God quickly reveals His plans for the year regarding a one-word theme. That word (be it a discipline, fruit of the Spirit, character trait, attribute of God or even a person) will brand you for life! Be careful with your word. It will brand you for life! And once you’re finished, be sure to share your experience with others—your spouse, children, friends, staff and church members. You’ll be blessed as you watch them adopt and grow in their own one-word themes for the year.

Steps to developing a one-word theme:

1. Prepare your heart through prayer and fasting.
Spend much time in prayer and ask God to reveal the one word to you. Remember, it is not you who chooses the word, but God who reveals to you what He wants to teach you in the coming year. Spend extended time not only in prayer, but also fasting. Through fasting, God will increase and heighten your reliance upon Him for the word. He will speak specifically and clearly into your heart.
At a minimum, I recommend getting away for one full day and spending time before the Lord. That invested time will pay big dividends. God will speak when you consecrate yourself and intentionally put yourself into a posture to hear from Him.

2. Search the Scriptures.
While reading your Bible, ask the Lord to highlight or bring to your attention a verse or story. This provides great insight and will help you ground your word in the Word. Commit that verse or passage to memory.

3. Evaluate all of your roles.
Each of us plays many different roles in our lives (i.e. parent, spouse, leader, athlete, friend, volunteer, steward, etc.) As you pray and think through those roles, pay attention to what God shows you. This step will help you understand the lives you impact and those that impact you. What is it that God wants to take hold of in your life and use for His glory? What area of your life do you need to surrender? What character trait does God want to develop within you? Which fruit of the Spirit does He want you to live out? These are several primer questions that can get you going in the right direction.

4. Do not seek counsel from others.
While seeking advice from godly counsel regarding issues or problems is essential, I would highly recommend not asking for word ideas from friends, spouses or accountability partners. Everyone will give you an opinion, but you aren’t seeking their opinions. You’re not even seeking your own opinion. You’re seeking God’s opinion.

5. Ask God for the word.
This is where the rubber meets the road. Boldly ask God for the word. Just as Samuel said, “Speak, Lord, your servant is listening,” you need to humble yourself and ask God to drop the word into your heart, mind and soul. Be open and willing. The word can be a fruit of the Spirit (kindness, faithfulness), attribute of God (holiness, mercy), discipline (prayer, memorization), person (spouse, child), biblical principle (harvest, stewardship), spiritual focus (devotion, intimacy), character trait (commitment, perseverance), values (integrity, teamwork) or characteristic of Christ (serving, humility). This is not meant to be list from which to choose, but rather a starting point to get you thinking and to help you as you begin to listen for the Lord’s prompting.

6. Share your word with a trusted person.
Once you have your word, it is important to share it with your husband or wife, best friend, accountability partner or pastor. Do not announce your word to everyone you know. One year, I didn’t share my word with anyone except for my wife and three accountability partners. Prayerfully consider with whom you need to share your word. Ask them to pray for you and to hold you accountable so that God can do His work in you.

7. Live out your word.
As you begin to live out your word on a daily basis, be sensitive to the Lord’s leading. Be open to learning more as He reveals Scripture, quotes and books for you to use. Keep a journal and write down the insights and lessons throughout the year. Evaluate your commitment on a regular basis, and make sure that you pray about what God wants you to learn.

Holiday Decor on a Budget

2009-12-18T11:22:00.000-08:00

I.Love.Pine cones.

And I don't want to spend money on them at the store, I find it a bit ridiculous.

So, the baby girl and I went for a walk earlier this fall the park and there it was. The perfect pine cone..accompanied by all its perfect pine cone friends. So we gathered up a (whole) lotta them and brought them home to use as fall decor.

Then it came time to get out the Christmas decor and an idea hit me - why not make some of our (many, many) pine cones WINTER pine cones??

Here's what you need:

pine cones

white craft paint

clear (or white) glitter

glue

paint brush(es)

Just dot each petal with the white paint and let dry completely. Then, paint each with glue and roll in glitter (I poured mine out on a plate) and let them dry again. Thats it! Make ornaments by adding ribbon or fill a hurricane or bowl or..let your imagination run wild!

Wander on over to The Shabby Nest for some more great Frugal Holiday Ideas!

What I Thanksgive..

2009-11-26T20:41:00.000-08:00

God, for saving me from certain death!
For my husband, being the incredible loving, providing, awesome man he is!
For my son, being the smart, loving, sweet boy he is!
For my daughter, being the floofy, caring, lovely little princess she is!
For my family, for still loving me through all the junk I put them through!
For my friends, for loving me and being so encouraging and amazing!

My son told me this morning:

"We have to thanks give Candy Land, and Pom (thats what he calls my dad) and cards and food and thanks give Jesus for all the parts that I just said. And the chairs game. Because its Thanksgiving and it makes our hearts happy!"

I am thankful for a Savior that even my not-yet-five year old can love and accept and understand!

Happy Thanksgiving!

A Walk to Beautiful

2009-11-12T22:27:00.000-08:00

I just finished watching "A Walk to Beautiful" (aired by PBS.) I'm nearly beyond words. It is about women who develop fistulas (a hole in the birth canal either to the bladder or rectum caused from extremely long hard labors [they said up to 10 days of hard labor] causing incontinence) These women are shunned by their communities, families, abandoned by their husbands. They cannot even live in their family's homes, they have to live in a hut out back.

There are hospitals (the one they focused on in particular is in Adis Ababa, Ethiopia) that specialize in this issue but they said there are something like 70,000 women with this problem and only 146 obgyns. (Don't quote me on those figures..)

My heart broke hearing the stories of these women. Many, after days of labor, lost their babies and then were cut off from society.

I always think of ways to serve as a missionary like teaching people about Jesus, teaching them to read, write, farm. Even being a doctor or nurse and treating them for disease or malnourishment. But what an incredible honor would it be to be able to basically give these women their very life!? There are so many practical ways to serve God's people, His children, but this is one way that by helping cure one person, you'd be affecting so many; their families, their children.

So many of the women in the hospital said that if this surgery didn't work, their only other option would be suicide. They cannot go back to their villages for fear of being shunned. One girl was 17 years old and had been married off at 9 or 10 years old and kept running away and her father would beat her and send her off with another husband and with the fourth husband she ended up getting pregnant and was in labor for 5 days, causing the fistula and I think she was one who ended up losing her child. Her mother had died I think when this girl was a child so she didn't want to go back because her father would just beat her and marry her off again (or try, no man would probably consider taking her.)

I think part of the reason it touched me so much is that our compassion child, Biruk, lives in (or near) Adis Ababa and to think that his family could very well be affected by this issue (he is an orphan, so maybe his mother died in child birth or from some sort of complication) and to be able to go there and make a difference, such an incredible, life changing difference, and that in the name of the Lord..

It just gives you (me) a new perspective on the petty 'problems' in my life!

Recent Projects

2009-11-09T20:28:00.001-08:00

I haven't posted in quite awhile so I thought I'd share some projects I've done since my last post.

My sister and I made some pumpkin & gourd candle holders. You just cut a hole big enough for a tea light and then scoop out all the guts. The candles sat a little low so we put those glass beads (like flattened marbles) in the bottom. We used some of the funky shaped gourds and they looked so great!

This is on a bookshelf at our church. It was antique white which looked good, but just didn't quite fit with the season so I grabbed a bottle of golden something-or-other acrylic paint and used my crackle and chocolate brown acrylic paints to make this beautiful thing!

Again, my sister and I did this one. Friends of ours recently bought their first house and don't have much for it as far as decor so we decided to help them out! We just used a board our dad had laying around (part of a 2x4), sanded it smooth and rounded the edges/corners (with the sander)and painted it with acrylics (the kind in the little bottles in the craft section) We started with a coat of chocolate brown, then used a wispy brush and did a coat of white (leaving some brown showing through) and then a coat of crackle medium, then a coat of antique white (with the wispy brush) then painted the words with black and once it dried, outlined the words with a black permanent marker to make the edges smooth. We scuffed the edges a bit with sand paper for the antique-y look. SO easy (and fun!!) and really cheap!

I just love making cards! I used some scraps of scrapbook paper and the flower and black portion I painted with acrylics on Bristol board. The 'Home' card was for my friends who bought the house.

And there you have it, this is what my life consists of when I'm bored! I love making things and doing little home-y projects and I LOVE not spending money on decor and cards and such..it's a beautiful thing!

There's No Place Like Home - Part 2: It's Finished! (for now..)

2009-07-13T18:17:00.000-07:00

Just thought I'd share a few finished projects from the last post!

The bell pepper and squash are finally growing!!

Here's the little night stand; I was able to take the old handle apart and use part of it and since contact paper doesn't come in very interesting patterns, I taped in a piece of scrapbook paper and put clear contact paper over the top!

Mom-in-law was going to throw this old trunk out so we said we'd take it off her hands; splashed some color on it and voila!

The garden under the tree makes a HUGE difference! It looks like we actually care about our yard! I'm so proud of Daniel for building it! (Now if we could only get the grass to grow..)

There's No Place Like Home..

2009-06-22T11:55:00.000-07:00

Four and a half years ago we moved into this home. Since then, we haven't really made it our own. It has a very eclectic feel to it (so we've been told) but it's eclecticity is quickly approaching cluttered-ness and it is making us both crazy! We moved in only 5 months after getting married, so we've accumulated a lot of stuff since then, considering we didn't have much to start with. Other than a few personal touches (the lime green bedroom, for example) it's really..how to put this..very blah. I think we've felt that since it's a rental, we didn't need or want to put much effort into it because we knew we'd be moving 'soon'..fast forward to 4 1/2 years later..

I've been doing little projects the past few weeks in hopes that the simple effort would produce great results. I think I'm on the right track! It's gotten depressing, because it's an old house, things just don't clean up as well as we'd like so even with our best efforts, it never really looks good. Here are some of the projects we've done, or are planning to do:

This is the nightstand I painted a couple of months ago, with the tree design on the side. Here I'm showing off my 25 cent candle holder! It needs different candles, but we get the idea, right?

AMAZING FIND!! A friend and I made a quick trip to the farmer's market while and it was love at first sight! This adorable little spice rack was -brace yourselves- $6.50!! How could I pass that up!? I also got a $2 zucchini .. no really, its huge.

Let's zoom in for a moment.

My good friend Whit got me this amazing-beyond-all-words plate set at a thrift store a couple years ago. It has 8 mugs, 8 each of salad and dessert plates and a pedestal/platter ..all for $13!!

I'm also working on a bed-side table that came with a dresser my mom got for Toby. She cleaned and refinished it but there was a big black stain on top, like a messy paint can was set on top of it. So I decided to paint it and I love it more than I thought I ever would! I was afraid painting it would ruin the antique-y-ness but I really think it brings out the design really well! It's not finished yet but again, you get the idea.

My mother-in-law gave us this great little hutch and I finally decided too put something in it. I love old books and Daniel has some great ones -King Arthur, and the Lord of the Rings set.. and Toby's special rocks from some of our trips.

Daniel wants to build raised garden beds to fancy up the outside of the house and the first one he wants to build will be around the base of this not-so-lovely pine. You can see the string marking the outline. I'm very excited about this!

There are more projects we hope to do (like painting our dining room that is currently wears hunting-dogs-and-geese-wallpaper) but I'll post those when we get to them. God has blessed us with an incredible deal on our rent and we're just realizing that no matter where we live, we need to make it feel like home.

My wall-art projects last week: (scrapbook paper=cheap art!!)

Hide it Under a Bushel, NO!!

2009-06-16T09:30:00.000-07:00

"Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:15-16

I say this out of my own guilt; Christians need to stop hiding in their comfortable homes, their comfortable social circles, their comfortable worlds. I, WE, know that we are called to share God's Word with everyone. Romans 10:14-15 says, "How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, 'How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"

Sure, God is just and will only hold us accountable to what we have learned (read: if a tribe somewhere never has the gospel shown to them, God will judge them according to their hearts. "For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities-his eternal power and divine nature-have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse." Romans 1:20)but this doesn't mean we can just sit back, relax and hope 'those people' happen to recognize God somehow. There is a specific call for the church to send out believers into the world to share the gospel.

In 2 Corinthians 5:17-21 we read that, in Christ, we are reconciled to God and therefore "Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us." Ambassadors go into other nations to represent their country/cause to people who don't necessarily know anything about that country/cause and they do the business on behalf of their nation or beliefs. Because Christ died for us, we are new creations in Him and we are to go into all nations and do the business of the Lord, working as the voice and hand of Christ!

"He gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ." Ephesians 4:11-13 We are to work as one body to share the love of Christ through His resurrection for one purpose -to build up the body of Christ! Good works aren't what get you into heaven. They are a result of your love and devotion to God. There is nothing you could possibly do to make you good enough to earn God's love. HE LOVES YOU ALREADY and is just waiting for you to accept that! It isn't He who has turned away from us; we have turned away from Him.

We are called to do the work of the Lord while here on earth and with that comes suffering. Yes, that means life will not be perfect. Becoming a disciple is not a magical way to become rich, healthy and have a perfectly comfortable life. God might use you in some way that you don't really have to go through many trials. But he might use you in a way that causes suffering in every way imaginable, as a test of faithfulness to Him. "I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble.." Here's the beauty in the suffering.. "..But take heart! I have overcome the world." What an incredible promise! Christ calls us ALL to live for Him, to share God's Word, and though He tells us very clearly that we will endure trials and suffering because of this calling, we don't have to worry because He is risen and waiting for the right moment to draw us all into His arms, into God's glory!

The Wife of Noble Character

2009-05-06T09:25:00.000-07:00

A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more that rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for the tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
She can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the break of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
"Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Concerning the downfall of the world..

2009-05-04T08:42:00.000-07:00

There is so much unrest and fear these days concerning our government and world politics. No doubt, a lot of it is just skepticism and conspiracy theory but I think a lot is simply due to the fact that our government is made up of humans, many of whom are not God-fearing men and women. I believe we need to be cautious, but I do not believe we need to be fearful of what is happening now or of what is to come.

"Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God." Romans 13:1

Every single leader that has ever been in power in the history of the world has been placed in their position by God. Good or bad, the leader was put in a place of authority because God had (has) a plan. He is outside of time, therefore, He can see the past, present and future that we experience. Its hard for us to grasp because, well, we're human and our brains cannot understand things of God unless He reveals them to us and some thing we just do not need to know. However, I've been able to 'understand' (in whatever capacity I am capable) this: Say you watch a movie. Later you watch the same movie with a friend who hasn't seen it yet. The character walks down the dark hallway to the creaky doorway.. 'Don't go in there!' your friend quietly exclaims. They fear what is behind that doorway because they haven't seen it yet. But you, having seen the whole movie, know that it is just a fluffy little kitten playing with a ball of string - nothing to fear, but the fact that it is unknown, makes it a little scary to someone who can't see it. Even though you KNOW the outcome, you couldn't change the outcome. (for analogy's sake: God COULD change the outcome, but he WON'T, because he does not take away our free will)

We don't know what is going to happen, other than the world is going to end as we know it. Even though we trust God, it can be quite scary to think about. But God has seen the future, he knows what is behind the creaky doorway of government, politics and the unknown future. Maybe its just a cute little kitten, maybe it's a hungry beast..either way, God will protect us and whatever the outcome, God will be glorified according to his good and perfect plan.

"...'it is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son. But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars - their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur..;" Revelation 21:6-8

There is nothing we can do to prevent -or escape- what is to come. We can try running. It might 'work' for awhile. Our government may be full of liars, cheaters, idolaters, unbelieving and immoral people, but can you name one corporation, school, church, family that isn't? This government is going to fall. The market will crash. We will lose everything. Everything this world has to offer, that is. We may be able to escape this country's downfall by fleeing somewhere else that seems to have it together, but sooner or later, that country will fall. Instead of trying to avoid the inevitable, we should stand strong where we are, stand up for our beliefs and stop trying to run away from what God has already seen accomplished. Everyone that sins, everyone that wrongs another -whether in government or business or family or otherwise- which happens to be every person, will answer to the just and sovereign God who promises to save us from eternal death and suffering if only we trust in his name, his Son as the savior and redeemer of our lost and broken souls.

"I have come to bring fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled! But I have a baptism to undergo, and how distressed I am until it is completed! Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division. From now on there will be five in our family divided against each other, three against two and two against three. They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law." Luke 12:49-53

Why are we surprised that marriages end, that children are disowned, or disown their parents? Jesus said it himself; families will be torn apart. The enemy does not want families to stick together, especially God fearing families, because if they stick together, that keeps them strong and if they are strong, he will be defeated. We need to stand strong (by praying and asking God to intervene with HIS strength) against the enemy and not let him take our families away from us!

"For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. But you, keep you head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry." 2 Timothy 4:3-4

If we don't stand up against the enemy, we will fall into false doctrine, we will lose our families; we won't be witness to the life that is in Christ. The only way to have hope and confidence in our future, in government, in marriage, in family, in every single aspect of this life, is to be always in the Word, always in communion with God the Father. If we lose sight of what God's word says, the only thing we have to look forward to is destruction, defeat and certain death.

We can run away -from family, from work, from responsibility, from hardship, from home (from a deteriorating country)- but in the end, we will only hurt ourselves, and everyone in our lives. As families, as husband and wife, we make a commitment before God to love and serve each other and God -no matter what- and we are to raise up our children according to God's word and his will. Nowhere in the Bible does it say life will be easy. God never said that accepting him and loving him and serving him would make your life easy. In fact, it says that disciples of Christ will suffer and that through suffering, you will develop perseverance, character and hope. When we don't persevere in (and out) of trial, we lose hope; the hope in Christ that we will be with him in eternity. Without that hope, we have nothing.

Lord, help us to always come to you with our fears, concerns and desires. Be with us in our homes, with our families; in marriage and with our children; and give us the strength to endure the trials that go along with living for you. Give us discernment when making decisions, especially concerning our leaders. We know that you appoint them, and ask that you give us insight and comfort in knowing that you have a plan and you will protect us and use us to glorify your name. Thank you for your promises, for you unconditional love; the perfect example of how we are to love others. In Jesus' name, amen.

How Great Thou Art

2009-04-30T21:46:00.000-07:00

O Lord my God! When I in awesome wonder

Consider all the works Thy hands have made.

I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,

Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee;

How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee:

How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

When through the woods and forest glades I wander

And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees;

When I look down from lofty mountain grandeur

And hear the brook and feel the gentle breeze.

And when I think that God, His Son not sparing,

Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;

That on the cross, my burden gladly bearing,

He bled and died to take away my sin.

When Christ shall come with shouts of acclamation

And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart!

Then I shall bow in humble adoration,

And there proclaim, my God, how great Thou art!

Because I know you want to know :)

2009-04-25T14:44:00.000-07:00

As spring [slowly] arrives, I am trying to do little projects around the house to update decor and become more organized. It seems we will be living in this house for at least another year [or 12] so by making inexpensive little changes, I feel like it is more 'home' and not just the house we live in for now. It gets a little depressing having no money to buy all new furniture & decor and since we are renting, we can't really do a lot. Our landlords are great, and if we want to paint, they don't mind as long as we paint over it when we move out, but thats a lot of work and money to spend on something that won't last!

Here is a little peak at some of the projects I've been doing so far :)

As much as I LOVE wood paneling, trying to hide it has been a top priority! We have a ridiculous amount of books and movies and figured this tall shelf would serve the purpose of housing stuff and [sort of] hiding the paneling! [Daniel's spider plant needed a home, too. He's had it since before we started dating which was 7 years ago..and I haven't killed it yet!!]

My jewelry has been taking over our dresser for the past 4 1/2 years, always getting tangled and falling behind the dresser. We had some hooks for a different project and I found this wooden dowel in a box of old stuff and it was the perfect fit! Now I can display my 'pretties' [as Bella calls them] and have easy access without worrying about breaking them!

I love our sea shell toilet seat! [notice: the organized bin of bath time supplies that used to be thrown on the floor under the sink..]

I needed something to go above the toilet and had in mind what I wanted. Two years ago at our ladies gift exchange at church, my friend Whitney brought this 'Dance like no one is watching..' framed quote and I ended up with it - not even planned - and it's perfect! My collection of shells from childhood beach vacations, a bottle of sand from a friend's trip to Hawaii, coral from Florida from my grandparents and the knot, 'In every home where I am found, love and happiness will abound,' from Daniel's aunt, bring good memories and complete our ocean theme.

I wanted gray [like the ocean sky] and Daniel loves bright colors, so we got a great compromise in this curtain! :)

Our bathroom was a lovely shade of very questionable lemon meringue pie with pepto bismol pink showing through the chipped edges. As pretty as that sounds, it was getting rather..nauseating. So I sprung for a can of a soothing powdery blueish-gray to match our towels & ocean theme. We got a new shower curtain and Rachael helped with the art work for the wall. Some craft paint, sponge brushes and $6 for 3 canvases really brightened up the empty wall space!

This nightstand has been redwhiteandblue probably since I was in 4th grade. I decided it was finally time to 'grow it up' a little and found this great design in a magazine! I borrowed the brown base coat from Sarah and used craft paints I already had from previous projects to paint the design!

My next projects will be:

getting our garden in 'growing' order [yay for no Fatty Fatty Kitty to poop on our flowers!]
re-oganizing the kitchen
re-organizing our closets
re-organizing Tobias & BellaBabe's closets [started, need to finish]
paint Tobias' dresser to match his room
build 'wrap around' shelf in Tobias' closet
make slip cover[s] for couch[es] & throw pillows
hang photos in hallway [again - I moved them and am moving them back]
paint over hunting dog/pheasant wall paper in dining room [must get landlords approval..]

Picture This:

2009-01-28T21:58:00.000-08:00

1. Go to the 4th folder in your computer where you store your pictures.
2. Pick the 4th picture in that folder.
3. Explain the picture.
4. Tag 4 people to do the same.

Uncle Brice and Tobias (probably 6 months ish). I think this was the first time Brice met Toby. We were at the Kleins'. That's all I have to say about that. :)

TAG!! It's your turn:
Momma Dowd
Tessa
Jenni
Rachael

GOD TV

2009-01-16T09:13:00.000-08:00

I'm watching this woman yelling, 'crying out' to God. She's getting the audience all worked up, asking who has a deeper hunger for God. They're all jumping around yelling like teenagers at a Jonas Brothers concert. "There needs to be something in you for the wildness of God." "Do you see how the glory is starting to move, right over there? We're talking about the realm of visitation, do you want a visitation?" People are jumping, shaking, falling all over each other, 'angelic movement' as she puts it. "You're at about a level 5, there needs to be more of a burden."

I don't know all the Biblical 'rules' on these sorts of things so maybe I'm being too skeptical, but honestly, THIS is the stuff that makes people laugh at Christians. "Do you have the fire of God? I can't hear you.." as the crowd gets collectively louder. "You guys are being too polite.. There needs to be something in you that has a holy riot.."

"For God is not a God of disorder but of peace." 1 Corinthians 14:33

Oh, now she is blowing on them and yelling. "This is wild, this is fun..who's more wild? Those of you under 30? (not much response) What about the over 50s? (huge response)" Everyone is crowding the stage and reaching out to this woman so she will blow on them as she's yells "FIRE! Whoa!"

"..All of these must be done for the strengthening of the church." 1 Corinthians 14:26

There is no explanation of what they are supposed to want more of. There has been no prayer. The only mention of God has been her telling people they need to release his 'wildness' and she's saying there are realms or pools of his glory around certain people or groups. She is telling people to ask God to make them deliverers so they can break open new territories..but there's no scripture, no prayer, no instruction. Just yelling, seizure-like shaking and blowing. "Whoa, you carry a lot of glory on you. FIRE! FIRE! More fire God, let your glory come.." as this woman screams in laughter. Can we have God's glory on us? I know we can bring glory to God but is the glory on us? It seems like it would be on God. Maybe I don't understand completely, it just seems..not right.

Lord, I ask you to use these people for your glory. Heal these people of the things in their lives that may be keeping them bound. But God, show them your truth. I don't know if whatever is happening is of you or not but you know. You can use anything to further your kingdom so I ask that you do an incredible work in the lives of anyone involved with this.

Psalm 103

2009-01-15T11:41:00.000-08:00

Praise the Lord, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits -
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

The Lord works righteousness
and justice for all the oppressed.

He made known his ways to Moses,
his deeds to the people of Israel;
The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
As a father has compassion on his children,
so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;
for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
As for man, his days are like grass,
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.
But from everlasting to everlasting
the Lord's love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children's children -
with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.

The Lord has established his throne in heaven,
and his kingdom rules over all.

Praise the Lord, you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his bidding,
who obey his word.
Praise the Lord, all his heavenly hosts,
you his servants who do his will.
Praise the Lord, all his works
everywhere in his dominion.

Praise the Lord, O my soul.

Tobias Allan Lee

2009-01-08T19:32:00.000-08:00

In just 4 hours, Tobias will officially be four years old.

I keep thinking back to those 3 nights (that felt more like 3 weeks..) in the hospital before he was born. For sure, I would keep track of every little thing that happened to this little baby, first tooth, every centimeter of growth; and I would scrapbook each precious picture. I did great..for the first month! I think I was pretty well prepared in a lot of ways, but no one can prepare you for how fast the time goes by! Everyone always tells you, "Keep them close, before you know it they'll be in school," and you think to yourself, yeah, it'll go quick but I'm sure I'll have plenty of time..then *bam* your little bundle is four years old and you cant remember what his first word was! (Ok, so maybe I remember the first word - but those of you with little ones know what I mean!) I looked through pictures the other day of Toby's first days. I honestly forgot what he looked like back then! I'm getting so used to him as a wee person, not just a little chubby blob on my couch.

God gave us a blessing we never could've imagined (why am I surprised?) and He continues to bless us. Just today, Toby was playing with Molly and Landon (the 3 yr old twins I watch) and they were playing drums and tambourine when Toby stopped them and said, "guys wait, we need to pray first...(they all stopped and folded their little hands and bowed their heads)...'Dear Lord, thanks for its my birthday and for that my family feels great and my birthday cake coming up soon amen!' now lets make a song!" *eyes welling up* It was the first time I've heard him pray all by himself! How incredible..preschool children praying to the Almighty God, without prompting, without even knowing anyone was watching them.

Ahh, Happy Birthday Tobias!! You are the most special little man God could ever have blessed us with!!

God of Wonder..

2008-12-13T14:49:00.001-08:00

Remember back in the day when you'd wake up early Saturday morning, get all snow-suited up and head out for a full day's worth of snow-building/shaping/running/dancing/throwing/eating/loving fun? And when the sun started to set and your little fingers were so frozen you they'd no longer bend, you'd run into the warm house to change into some cozy pjs and mommy would have a steamy cup of hot cocoa with marshmellows waiting for you.

Remember back in the day, when you learned to drive. And then it snowed for the first time. That was the day I came to understand why the grown ups always stayed inside.

I LOVE winter. Waking up to trees frosted over, a blanket covering the world..it just amazes me, the things God created. I never really, really thought about the 'no two snowflakes are alike' thing. Honestly, think about it..how many snow flakes does it take to cover a 1X1 ft area 1 inch deep? Thousands at least, right? None of those look alike. Now multiply that area by a million (or whatever insanely large amount equals the total snowy surface on the planet..) None of those look alike. I thought, they dont really know for sure that not a single identical pair has ever existed. Maybe true. But isn't that just putting limits on God? I think I do that more than I'll ever realize. Nothing is impossible with God. He created snow. He has crafted every single flake that has fallen and ever will fall out of the sky over all the earth.

How awesome is our God?!

"Have you entered the storehouses of the snow or seen the storehouses of the hail, which I reserve for times of trouble, for days of war and battle?

What is the way to the place where the lightning is dispersed, or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth?

Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain, and a path for the thunderstorm,
to water a land where no man lives, a desert with no one in it,
to satisfy a desolate wasteland and make it sprout with grass?

Does the rain have a father? Who fathers the drops of dew?

From whose womb comes the ice? Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens when the waters become hard as stone, when the surface of the deep is frozen?"
Job 38:22-30

The Rise and Fall of America

2008-11-28T05:44:00.000-08:00

I'm sure our founding fathers had grand plans for the little chunk of land they called America. A freedom they'd probably never known, a new start. I don't imagine the first Americans had much to speak of, but they got by just fine. We became a very powerful and rich country, based on things like God, family values, perhaps even morals.

Fast forward to today. Wal*Mart. My morning started off with a thought; "Have I gone completely insane?" Here I am waking my sleeping babies up long before the sun is expected to make an appearance. "It'll be quick, no one will be crazy enough to actually get up for this.."

As I turned into the parking lot, I saw the mob of chilly people waiting for the doors to open. The crowd overflowed the entryway and spilled out in a thick line all the way back to the garden center. Other drivers were actually passing me as I waited for the car in front of me to let a load of eager shoppers out. They got out, the car started driving, and people were still passing us. I got inside the door (the food center door wasn't nearly as crowded) and only had to wait a minute or two for the 'doors' to open.

I went for bath towels. I could hardly get to them until someone kindly let me through (after about 5 minutes of me trying to get across the aisle.) I then ventured to the Christmas section to get new ornaments. On the way I got ran into twice, had two or three close calls and had to wait for about 10 people to move out of the center of the aisles so I could even get passed them. I was cut off by a few impatient customers but finally got the items I was there for and made it through the check out in record time.

My point: people are totally ridiculous! I cannot even imagine the crowds at places like Macy's or Old Navy or Target! People get up at (or stay up till) the wee hours of the morning so they can pack into the electronics/home/holiday department like sardines all the while pushing, fighting and in my case, ramming (note slight exaggeration for dramatic purposes) others in order to make sure they get the biggest and the best for the lowest prices. They are rude, impatient, greedy (people stuffing everything they see into the cart just incase they want it, if not they stuff it on a random shelf later) and this is what defines us as Americans. It's sad, but very true. We like stuff. We love to spend money (even when we don't have money to spend) on things we do not need. The guy in front of me at the check stand had what he wanted and was talking to a friend, saw a calendar and the friend said 'its only $7.88' and the guy in line replied 'ah why the hell not' and got it.

I cannot understand how all these companies are going under, how our country is in trillion dollar debt when all we do is buy, buy, buy! There is something wrong with this equation.

Off to bed, I must rest up so I can go eat waaay too much turkey..again..ahh, America the beautiful!

my heart breaks

2008-11-21T12:53:00.000-08:00

I sit here thinking to myself 'If SHE got up and did something instead of just telling us what we should do..', 'If HE just changed his attitude, more people would be saved..', 'If they would just grow up and stop choosing the world..'

What am I doing!? I am watching Oprah. My bible is sitting 4 feet away. 'I'll read it in a bit..'

When was the last time I asked how I could pray for someone? (maybe a few weeks ago, asking a friend who is a believer..) I don't ask my non-believing friends. I do try to throw in a 'faith' statement now and then to remind them I believe in God and that's why my life is better (even though I still have so many problems..) Sometimes I feel like the only reason I share my faith is to 'show off' how I have it all figured out. That isn't my intention, but honestly, it makes me stand a bit taller knowing that I have great wisdom to impart on the world.

It makes me so sad, looking into the world and seeing all the 'christians' doing such horrid things in the name of the Lord. How could anyone even think of cheating, hurting, lying to another person? How dare they act less than Christ-like? ..because they're human. What makes me sick is when I realize that the things in my heart are so often just as bad if not worse than the things I'm judging!

I have a list in my journal of names of people I love that either don't know Jesus or they did and have turned from Him. It is top to bottom, three columns across and some added in the top section of the page. Most of the people I have known for probably half my life, if not longer. I made the list over a year ago, so even the 'newest' names on it I have now known for at least a year. I have to admit, I do not pray for these people very often. I try to remember but I just really struggle with it. In the past year, I feel like I have failed Christ, by not bringing these people before Him every single day. He has been more than faithful despite my short-comings. I have seen at least 5 of those people turn back to Christ in the past few months. Some are really still struggling, but so am I. They are coming to church, they are questioning their beliefs (in a good way) and I can see their eyes opening and their hearts softening. Earlier this year on a particular Sunday morning during worship we happened to sit on the 'far side' of the sanctuary. People were slowly filtering in during worship and I looked over..my heart was in my throat! TWO of the people on my list walked in, not together, but at the same time when I looked up..these are two of the 'least likely' to return in my mind. We were also sitting with another person listed, back for the first time in a very long time. I could not contain my joy! I had never felt that sort of ..absolute happiness..ever. I can't even explain it. At that moment, God showed me His promise, His faithfulness to answer prayers, to never leave of forsake His children.

I don't know why I don't pray more often. It is something I struggle with, but I am learning the amazing power prayer holds. I think I have had more prayers answered this year than ever, or maybe I am just more aware of it.

God has blessed me with an incredible amount of compassion and I think sometimes I let it become more of a burden than a blessing. I get so overwhelmed by all the people that are lost..I tend to just give up. But God continues to be faithful and He keeps showing me that if I just draw near to Him, He draws near to me, and that is the only way I can be effective as a witness.

traditions..

2008-11-15T14:48:00.000-08:00

Today was probably the 18th time my sister and I have made noodles with our grandma. Every year for Thanksgiving we have homemade noodles with our feast. I think both my grandma and my grandpa's mothers made them when they were growing up, and so the tradition passes on to us.

For the first time, the 'great grands' got to help! Well, Toby mostly. The girls are too little yet, but I got to thinking..I really want to make my own family traditions to pass down to my kids, grand kids, great grand kids..

This is something that has been bringing us together for pretty much all our lives, and even after our grandpa passed away 4 years ago, he's still a big part of the day. Not in a weird way, but memories shared always include him. It seems like the only 'right' time to bring him up that we know it wont bring grieving, if that makes sense..

Ahh, I love the holidays!!

through autumn's golden gown we used to kick our way..

2008-11-14T23:33:00.000-08:00

This is why I love my 'job'!! On a beautifully crisp fall afternoon I get to play in the leaves and spend the day with the cutest kids in the world! These are my two and the twins I babysit (in red).

Molly, Tobias, Landon

Bella & Tobias

Molly, Bella, Tobias, Landon

Making Your Home a Haven

2008-11-11T12:43:00.000-08:00

After reading Rachel's post I decided to also join Monica's challenge to take a week and really work on making my home a haven. It gets overwhelming when clutter piles up and things are disorganized! I really feel like our life would be a lot less stressful if when we walked into our home we didn't see messes and junk piles everywhere we turned! You can read about the challenge here .
I'm starting today with tidying up all the clutter and organizing our spare room, dining room and closets. I'll post pictures later :)

this is me being domestic..

2008-11-08T16:24:00.000-08:00

i just made the yummiest most amazing soup ever and i feel the need to share it!! :) a friend taught me how to make it. its super easy and really inexpensive!! you can totally adjust the amounts to suit your needs..

'Pozole' (po-SO-lay)

**12 cups chicken broth (i bought the box stuff, but it was buy 1 get 1 free!!)
**2-3 boneless/skinless chicken breasts
1 (29oz) can hominy
1 small cabbage (green, though im sure red would work)
1 lime
cilantro (if you're like me you need a lot- 1 bunch is more than enough)
3-4 celery stocks
1/2 a med. onion (i like white or yellow)
avocados (again, depends on how much you like..)
ground cumin

finely chop celery, onion & some cilantro (15 leaves ish), throw into the broth (which is simmering on the stove..) the hominy can go in now too.

sprinkle ground cumin (failry liberally) on the chicken, and cook in a pan with a little butter/evoo or whatever you like and the juice of half the lime. when its done, cut it into bite size pieces and throw into the pot.

simmer this until its all heated throuhg (20 minutes?)

in the meantime, chop the cabbage (maybe 1/2 per person..) into long thin strips, set aside. finely chop some more cilantro, set aside. chop the avocado into little chunks, 1/2 in maybe.

To Serve: once the soup is in the bowl, top it with the cabbage, cilantro & avocados and a little (or big!) squeeze of lime over the top!

**you could make the broth out of a whole chicken or bone-in chicken breasts, ground cumin, onions celery, a bit of cilantro. boil till chicken is totally cooked, take the chicken out to cool for a bit, throw the other stuff into the broth and cut up the chicken and add it back in.

..and that is how the cookie crumbles

2008-11-07T23:01:00.000-08:00

The lovely Rachel Dowd tagged me in her post of seven rarely known facts about her (as she was tagged by someone else) so here are my seven tidbits, and I now pass the torch to the lovely Rachael Grubb at Semi-precious Metaphors ! (and you should visit her blog to watch Audrey!)

1| I cannot stand things touching my neck. If I wear a scarf or necklace or, heaven forbid, a turtleneck it takes every ounce of control I can muster up not to have an absolute conniption. (Fun Fact - my mom and sister are the same way..weird)

2| I would die a happy girl if I had only avocados & limes for the rest of my days. (and a little cilantro wouldn't hurt!)

3| When I was 4 years old I decided I wanted to go to Brazil as a missionary. To this day, that is still my dream.

4| I love being pregnant. No, really, if I had to choose between being pregnant for the rest of my life and eating only avocados & limes for the rest of my life..I would have a seriously hard time deciding!! (I don't get morning sickness, swelling or much weight gain..trust me, I feel SO incredibly blessed!!)

5| I always wanted to be a dancer. (I dance almost as well as Toby can say 'frisbee'..'shribzee')

6| When talking on the phone I have to have it on the left side. If I try to switch ears, I can't understand what the person is saying. It's really weird, I can hear just fine, it just doesn't register in my brain or something.

7| I have never watched: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, Casablanca, Brigadoon, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Music Man, Scrooge, An American in Paris, My Fair Lady, Guys and Dolls..the list goes on..I did watch Fiddler on the Roof for the very first time a couple weeks ago.. (Rachel - how could I have gotten past this in your family?!)

First we go around the tree then we jump over the dinosaur's tail..

2008-10-23T12:07:00.000-07:00

Dora Dora Dora the Explorer! Boots y Super Cool Exploradora!

Of all the jobs in the entire world, I think mine is by far the best! Sure, I'm not making millions, traveling the world or starring in movies but I wouldn't trade my title with anyone!

We recently finished a series at church on parenting. It really made me rethink the way I do things and the reasoning behind it all. God gave us children as a blessing. I tend to think of it more as a task, not an opportunity. To be able to bring my kids to work with me is the greatest blessing. I never wanted someone else to raise my kids for me. I understand that some people don't have the option to stay home with their kids, which is why I feel so lucky that I can bring mine along. It's so amazing to see the kids interact with eachother. Toby, Molly and Landon have SOO much fun making up stories and playing games and Bella is growing so fast being able to watch the big kids and learn from them! It still surprises me that these little ones running, singing and dancing around are little tiny versions of us grown ups.

Sometimes I worry that I'm not doing a good job 'training them up in the ways of the Lord' and then I see the three year olds sharing with eachother, helping eachother.. If you ask Toby who loves him, "God does!" "Where's the Holy Spirit Toby?" "He's in my heart"..It brings tears to my eyes hearing his tiny voice, knowing that HE knows he is loved not just by Mommy and Daddy, but my the Almighty God! I pray I can bring the same knowledge to all of my kids and all of the kids in my life that aren't technically mine :)

Deception (Colossians 2:8)

2008-09-16T12:56:00.000-07:00

"See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ."

tradition: greek: paradosis: a precept, ordinance. from paradidomi: to surrender, yield up, intrust, transmit; betray, bring forth, cast, commit, deliver (up), give (over), hazard, put in prison, recommend.

tradition = giving up {normality}, surrender to some -thing/one, yielding to some -thing/one. COMMIT TO SOME-THING/ONE, GIVING YOURSELF UP TO IT.

By submitting to tradition we commit ourselves to it, whether it be to something or someone. Break free of traditions and find freedom in Christ.

freedom: hebrew: chuphshah. from chaphash. liberty. to be free (from slavery)

Don't be a slave to tradition - only Christ.

slave: greek: soma. the body (as a sound whole) Bodily, Body, Slave.

Body = Slave. Slave (bond servant?) of Christ = Body of Christ

People are being decieved every day. I am so glad I have freedom in Christ!!

Come Ye Sinners

2008-09-09T21:51:00.001-07:00

Come, ye sinners, poor and needy,

Weak and wounded, sick and sore;
Jesus ready stands to save you,
Full of pity, love and pow’r.

I will arise and go to Jesus,
He will embrace me in His arms;
In the arms of my dear Savior,
Oh, there are ten thousand charms.

Come, ye thirsty, come, and welcome,
God’s free bounty glorify;
True belief and true repentance,
Every grace that brings you nigh.

Come, ye weary, heavy-laden,
Lost and ruined by the fall;
If you tarry till you’re better,
You will never come at all.

View Him prostrate in the garden;
On the ground your Maker lies;
On the bloody tree behold Him;
Sinner, will this not suffice?

Lo! th’ incarnate God ascended,
Pleads the merit of His blood:
Venture on Him, venture wholly,
Let no other trust intrude.

Let not conscience make you linger,
Not of fitness fondly dream;
All the fitness He requireth
Is to feel your need of Him.

Colossians 4:2-6

2008-09-05T12:19:00.000-07:00

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us too, that God may open a door for our message so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

I find it so difficult to do what Paul is talking about here!! I am constantly shying away from sharing Christ with everyone I meet, even though that is what God has called me to do. I let my human emotions get in the way. I think its a pride issue. I am afraid of what people might think of me asking if I can pray for them, or even if I just mention that I believe in Christ and why. I become 'unsure' of my reasoning. I get nervous and think 'these reasons aren't good enough. Nothing I can say will make this person believe in Christ.' But God didn't call me to save people. He called me to share his love. All I need to do is proclaim Christ. Of course I need to be praying continuously (1 Thes. 5:17) and stay in the Word to always be 'full of grace, seasoned with salt,' but i need to realize that I don't have to find a 'magic word' or 'secret formula' in order to get people to Christ. I just need to know what He has done in my life and what He will do in others'!! I like to think of myself as a fairly kind person, but really, I snap pretty easily..'Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity'..I certainly have a LOT of work to do in this area.

As I'm getting into ministry and missions, I'm realizing more and more just how important it is to stay in the Word and to always pray. Being quiet and waiting on the Lord has never been a strength of mine. I get bored/irritated waiting, thinking that God 'isn't listening' to me (more like, I'm not listening to him..). I get all these grand ideas of how 'my' missions will play out or what I can say to a certain person to make things 'click' into place for them. Instead, I need to call on the Lord and wait in prayer for Him to open doors, opportunities to minister to people.

Lord, help me to seek you. Help me to not desire anything else, but that I would be fully devoted to your word and sharing your love with others..